Rate Your Relationship

Here’s a quiz to help you determine the value of your networking relationships. Jot down the name of a networking contact, then use the quiz to rate that relationship and to figure out the next steps to take to build a long-term relationship.

Instructions: Answer Yes if you agree with the comment; No if you cannot agree with the comment.

My Networking Contact ______________________ (Answer yes or no to each of the following.)

1. Recognizes my name instantly when I call.

2. Knows me well enough to recognize me “out of context,” in a new setting.

3. Demonstrates knowing my face and my name by coming up to me in a crowd and saying hello and by introducing me accurately to others.

4. Has my contact information handy.

5. Knows the name of my organization and where it is located so well that he/she could give people directions to it.

6. Can accurately describe what I do.

7. Gives vivid examples of what I do.

8. Knows that I am good at what I do and can cite reasons why my work is superior.

9. Knows of some independent verifi cation of my expertise – an award, certifi cation, thirdparty endorsement.

10. Regularly sends me valuable information and resources.

11. Responds to requests from me.

12. Knows what kinds of people could use my services and is on the lookout for them.

13. Always speaks well of me to other people and passes my name around.

14. Makes a habit of referring valuable information and contacts to me.

15. Consistently creates opportunities to stay in touch with me.

Copyright, 2009, Contacts Count


Is your contact an actor or ally or advocate? If you don't know, that means you could benefit from MAKE YOUR CONTACTS COUNT! You need to understand what type of relationship you have, in order to take an appropriate 'next step' to building a long-term, trusting relationship.

Suggestion: Get the book MAKE YOUR CONTACTS COUNT (Baber & Waymon, Amacom) from the library, or buy it http://tinyurl.com/BuyDiscountedBook or sign up for a local Contacts Count workshop, or listen to a webinar! http://www.training-insights.com/ or send an email to sue@training-insights.com to learn about upcoming programs.

Make Your Contacts Count: Leverage Your Skills in the Social Media Arena

People often ask me about how to use LinkedIn, Twitter or Facebook when networking.
It's easy! You simply need to leverage your face-to-face networking skills and use them in the social media arena.

How? I'm glad you asked. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Listen generously to your connections/followers/fans.

Give first; offer ideas that will help them
- Answer Questions on LinkedIn to bolster your industry credibility
- Use RTs on Twitter to respond to other follower's tweets
- Comment or click LIKE on Facebook to build the relationship

Your network is created by conversations you have in person and online. Nurture and cultivate the relationships you have with those individuals.

Every interaction is an opportunity. When you connect with someone, look for commonalities.

Talk to strangers.
- Send direct messages to thank people for following you on Twitter.
- Reply and acknowledge status updates on LinkedIn.
- Comment on pictures, videos and posts on Facebook.

Networking isn't TAKING, it's TEACHING.... go slow and steady as you build relationships online. Let people get to know you and give them a chance to see your character and competence before going for the SELL!

Network strategically. What bottom-line results are you looking for? Create a plan to get there. Which audience makes most sense to follow/ develop relationships with? Connect/friend/become fans of those people. Get to know them, help them, and build relationships with those audiences.

Be honest and upfront. When there are no mysteries, and everyone is 'above board', there is no manipulation.

While it's important to GIVE; don't be afraid to point people to your blog or site. Weave success stories into your posts and articles. Let people get to know you and see your abilities and accomplishments.

Share your content – think of contributions you can make that your audience will appreciate; that will let them know what you, or your clients (or your clients’ products) can do to solve their problems.

Continued interaction increases your network's net worth. Keep in touch and end conversations assuming that you will stay in touch and develop the relationship.

It takes time (MONTHS) to develop a relationship with someone, so start now.

If you're not networking, you're not working to your fullest. Networking is not just for job hunters, it's a necessary competency in today's world to help you do your job better and be more productive.

Use your blog, website, LinkedIn status and tweets to create a well-balanced combination of sharing information and calls to action. In time, as you create and cultivate your contacts you will be surprised at how you are able to capitalize on them as well. When you have sincere, mutually beneficial relationships, business is sure to follow.

Don't Kid Yourself

I was at a picnic this weekend and someone asked, what do you do?

"I teach strategic networking skills classes that improve net worth."

Suddenly, there was a strange QUIET at the table..... I felt like I said something wrong. So, instead of crawling under the table, I repeated it.

"Yes, I teach networking skills - whether you're looking for a job or looking to do a better job AT your current job."

Still silence.

"Oh," one person finally said flatly. "I hate networking."

"Really, I asked? You should take our Contacts Count course, it might change your perspective.

"No," she continued. "No, networking is not for me. I hate going to networking events. Since I'm on the client end, people who meet me always want something from me. I have enough contacts in my network with my vendors......"

She continued to explain, but her words were swallowed up by another conversation that started at the table, and then we all got interrupted by the fireworks and never got back to the topic at hand.

I thought about it later, and remembered many a colleague who was crushed when laid off from their 'client jobs' and shocked at how all of the people who cared so much about them, and showered them with gifts, were no longer there for them. Hmmmmm.

"Don't kid yourself," I thought to myself. Don't pretend that your network is big enough, good enough or as good as it's ever going to get. As we grow in business and as the marketplace changes, our networks have to grow and change as well.

If you don't want to be stagnant, you better continually be creating, cultivating and capitalizing on your networking. You better nurture your business relationships and stay in good standing with different types of people in different places.

Think about it. How diverse is your network? Are there young people in your network? Old? Are there Clients? Vendors? Students? Mentors? Interns? Experienced people? Newbies? Do you have people in your field, from associations, who you can turn to, to benchmark, get the latest in trends and best practices? Do you have a strategy? Do you get bottom-line results from your networking?

Or, are you just going to networking events, because you think you should? And, you figure, you'll just hang out and have a drink, visit with your friends and current vendors and dismiss the people who you don'think you will 'need'.

Don't kid yourself. There are people who may not seem like 'likely good networkers' who have brothers, or neighbors or fathers who could hire or fire you!

Don't kid yourself. If you get your pink slip tomorrow, do you REALLY think your current vendors would still be sucking up and coming to your rescue to help you land a new job?

Don't kid yourself. Don't keep yourself in a networking 'silo.' We can learn from other industries and other people. How do you think McDonalds came up with the drive-through idea.... by learning about banking and the drive-through window!

Don't kid yourself. Even if you don't like networking events, you can still connect with others that you could learn from. Maybe lunches and one-one-one coffee dates make more sense for you. Maybe you're shy but do better at standing out and making a reputation for yourself by answering questions on Linked In.

Don't kid yourself. With the highest unemployment rates we've seen in a long time, no one is safe. No one knows what the future will bring. With social media on the rise, now is the time to use face-to-face networking, LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook to your advantage. You don't have to spend time reinventing the wheel when someone 1/2 way across the world is in your Linked In Group, willingly shares articles and tips with you. Information and ideas are so easily and quickly accessed, that no one should be the 'lone ranger' and no one should hate 'networking!'

Breaking Up is Hard to Do!

Last week, when I taught a class in Rochester NY, Alaina asked, “How do you END a conversation?”

Many people have difficulty with this. Whether you want to cling to a person for the safety of having someone at your side at a crowded event, or if you’re the type that has ‘just one more story’ you feel you must share … ending the conversation can be difficult.

Here are some tips that we, at Contacts Count, the networking skills specialists, recommend:
- End with the future in mind. Recap what you said you would GIVE, make sure you have the person’s contact information and follow up within 2 days.
- Ask your conversational partner to introduce you to someone else. “Do you know anyone at the meeting from the Programming Committee?”
- Let the person know you enjoyed talking to him and thank him for his time
- Be confident.
- Use Contact Count’s method: LEAVE

Let go after 5 – 10 minutes.
Explain what’s on your Agenda.
Appreciate your partner.
Verify the next step.
Exit with a smile and a handshake.

Remember, change is under-rated. Whether you’re leaving a long-term relationship or a 5 minute conversation, it’s still a change and it can be awkward or difficult. When it’s time to move on, simply thank him for his time, shake hands and go forward with confidence to find your next conversational partner.

Contributed by Sue Schnorr, President of Training Insights, Inc. and Exclusive Associate with Contacts Count in NY.

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH ...

The tough get networking!

How about you? Do you get it? Do you make networking a way of life, or is it a 'to do' on your chore list?

The old school of networking was: "YIKES, I need a job; I better get networking."
The new school of networking is all about continual teaching and giving.

Teaching people what you're good at and what would help you in your business life and learning what would help them, and giving them ideas, resources or leads to help them achieve their objectives.

It's been said over and over that the opposite of networking is NOT working.

When you continually think of your network as a means of support, you are more like to work it, or stay in touch with people. How do you do a better job at staying in touch with people? ASK more questions.

When you listen and listen generously.... you will learn how to follow up with them. You will know what their passions are, their challenges and what they do well and what they are interested in. When you give first, and give generously, the Law of Reciprocity comes into effect and you will soon be given an idea or resource as well. Try it! (That 'give and take' is the premise of networking.)

If you don't 'work it' or remain engaged with people in your network, you aren't working to your capacity. You don't have to be a Lone Ranger. Learn to rely on others for best practices, shortcuts, ideas, resources. Don't reinvent the wheel.

For more information on giving and getting, and how to have more purposeful conversations, read Chapter 10 in Make Your Contacts Count, by Anne Baber and Lynne Waymon.

NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH

We didn't feel like cooking Wednesday night and heard that a certain chain had 'kids pay a penny for each pound they weigh'. Since both cherubs would cost less than a dollar, opted for this great deal ('free meal'). Long story short, the kids drinks were not included with their meal, and were outrageously over-priced. The food was not good and arrived cold. So, we actually paid 'regular price' for this 'free meal'.

We could have gone to our old stand-by 'favorite place' and we would have had a delicious meal for 'a regular price'.

I felt a little ripped off; like I was duped. "There's no such thing as a free lunch." That icky feeling I had reminded me of what many participants say in my networking skills workshops. "Networking feels manipulative." "I feel like I'm selling my soul for something to be given at a later date." "I hate networking."

Yet, after learning the Contacts Count method of networking, those participants' mindsets change. They see the difference between professional networking and the sleazy 'tricked ya' free meal offer. The difference is that networking is above-board, honest and upfront. When people are frank and candid about wanting to help each other and they make networking a two-way street of giving and teaching; it is successful practice. Networking is about learning what others want and need to be successful and giving advice, resources and leads to help them achieve their goals. It's about teaching people what you're good at, what kinds of resources, ideas and leads would be helpful to you so they can support you.

When people see our character and competence, we develop professional relationships and it's mutually beneficial process. When we whip out a card at a networking event, and try to sell something upon meeting someone, before getting to know the them; well, we give off that same slick feeling as 'the 'kids eat free' marketing stuff. Networking is not a gimmick, it's for professionals who create, cultivate, capitalize and support their contacts and relationships.

Next time you go to a networking event, create an agenda. Be prepared to ask questions and get to know the people you talk to. THEN, you can follow up with them and begin to develop a relationship. Identify two or three things that you'd like to learn and ASK! "Do you know who I should talk to about learning more about shortcuts in Microsoft Word?" When you network, you should be in it for the long haul..... not for a quick fix, or free meal!

Susan Boyle and Networking

Susan Boyle Declined Dinner with the Obamas.

http://www.newser.com/story/58537/boyle-declines-dinner-with-the-obamas.html


Susan Boyle became endeared to me when she stood up to those shallow people, showed them her talent, and earned their respect.

I can't help but see the parallel with her mindset and networking. I believe that the number one rule of networking is, "Simply be yourself!"

Mind you, I am not criticizing her at all for not accepting an invitation with the Obamas. Many people consider themselves shy and avoid networking and meeting new people.

Networking is simply getting to know people, teaching them what you're good at and what your skills are, and learning the same for them. It's both 'giving of yourself and getting to know your conversational partner.'

I admire Susan Boyle and hope she develops more confidence so she is comfortable meeting anyone in this world. She has alot to offer. She also has international attention, so she can stand to have one less fan. How about you? Can you afford to let networking slip through the cracks? One person, as an average has abot 250 contacts in their network. Each of those 250 has another 250; and so on. When you turn down one person, or make a negative impression on one person, you're cutting your chances short of gettin exposure to a crowd of many, many people.

One person in that crowd may have just what you need. A job? A piece of information? An introduction to a huge client? That person could simply become your friend or provide a valuable resource. You could provide meaningful value to that person as well. Are you willing to forego opportunities to avoid a little awkwardness?

If you've got a worldwide following, like Susan Boyle, don't worry about it. But, if you are everyman..... consider stepping out of the box and trying something new. Take someone up on his offer for coffee? Share information readily. You have alot to offer, and you have nothing to lose.